It's Complicated

Life is complex.

The above sentence scares the shit out of some people. Oh, sure, there are simple things contained within life's complexities. As I'm typing this, Ed, the newest feline member of our family is right on the other side of the laptop, doing flips while trying to catch her tail. It is absolutely simple and absolutely great (and a pretty good metaphor for what writers spend most of their time doing). People want simple solutions, simple answers, simple entertainment. By the way, that last sentence totally explains why Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire.

 There are many things in life that are definitely NOT simple, although people try to force simplicity upon them. That's where we get into trouble. That's where cognitive dissonance takes hold. Cognitive dissonance is defined as the mental stress or discomfort felt by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. Put simply, it's feeling the enjoyment that comes from smoking a cigarette, while at the same time knowing that it's bad for you and can eventually kill you. It's also a great way to explain Young Earth Creationism. Folks don't want to take the time or use the brain power it takes to reconcile their sincerely held belief in Biblical truth with hundreds of years of contradictory scientific study, evidence, and facts. It's easier to buy a ticket to the Creation Museum and believe penguins from Antarctica made the trek to the Middle East at the behest of a 900-year-old drunk before the great flood, kangaroos floated on logs to Australia after the flood, and Jesus rode a dinosaur. And if you want to believe that...fine. However, to quote Neil Degrasse Tyson, "I don't have an issue with what you do in the church, but I'm going to be up in your face if you're going to knock on my science classroom and tell me they've got to teach what you're teaching in your Sunday school. Because that's when we're going to fight."

We look at our increasingly complex world and want to apply the simplest solutions. Immigration can be solved with a wall. More guns=less crime. Putting the Bible in schools will magically solve all the problems facing young people (personally, I think we need to give the Bible a chance to stop all the molestation in the church, before we start passing them out during homeroom). Teen pregnancy? Teach abstinence exclusively. Remember when Bristol Palin toured schools across the country as an advocate for abstinence WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT OUT OF WEDLOCK? What a hoot. Teaching "abstinence only" to teenagers is like standing in front of millions of years of evolution (or 6,000 for you creationists) and instinct and our species' built in desire to procreate and puberty and hormones and the availability of Marvin Gaye's music (fuck you, I'm old) and saying...don't.

We want simple solutions to the increasing divide between the wealthy and everyone else in this country. Let's see...your tax money is going to pay for roads in Afghanistan, to pay for drones that indiscriminately murder, not only their targets, but anyone who just happens to be near them, even children, to pay back the massive debt we owe to Japan and China, to pay the six trillion, T-R-I-L-L-I-O-N, dollar price tag for our war in Iraq, to buy the weapons that we sold in the Middle East to our "allies" that are now in the hands of ISIS, to pick up the slack from the tax breaks we give to the wealthiest people, to fund the bailout of the banks that tanked forty percent of the world's wealth (and not one person went to jail over this), to pay our representatives, OUR representatives in OUR government, who bend over to suck the dicks of the aforementioned wealthiest, faster than any prostitute in the history of sucking dicks and leave their asses stuck in OUR faces...but, hey, let's get pissed off about that poor person who gets government assistance or food stamps, because I CAN SEE THEM AND THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO BUY FOOD IN FRONT OF ME AND THEY HAVE A CAR AND THEY HAVE A CELL PHONE AND THEY ARE A PERFECT WAY FOR ME TO AVOID LOOKING AT THE REAL PROBLEMS IN THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE HATRED IS EASY AND SIMPLE AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THEM MY LIFE WOULD INSTANTLY GET BETTER AND A RAINBOW WOULD SHOOT OUT OF MY ASS AND I'D RIDE A UNICORN RIGHT UP THAT MULTI-COLORED ARCHWAY TO HEAVEN AND RIDE A DINOSAUR WITH JESUS!

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, life is complex. Appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Just don't expect them to solve all of our problems.